Between Stimulus and Response: Mastering Emotional Regulation

Victor Frankl once said, “Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” It’s a beautiful truth, but in the chaos of a high-stress job, it can feel like that space shrinks to nothing. Deadlines loom, tension rises, and suddenly, we’re reacting instead of responding. It’s like being a volcano—pressure building beneath the surface until even the smallest spark causes an eruption. But what if, instead of erupting, we used that space to release the steam slowly and intentionally?

Regulating emotions at work is about finding that space Frankl talks about, expanding it, and using it wisely. One way to do this is through controlled breathing. Imagine the buildup of pressure inside your emotional volcano. When you pause and take slow, deep breaths, it’s like opening a valve to let some of that steam escape. Techniques like “box breathing”—inhaling for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding again—can help you reclaim that space, calming your nervous system and giving you a moment to regain control.

Another way to stay ahead of the eruption is to explore what’s fueling the fire. Emotions, even uncomfortable ones, are messengers, signaling unmet needs or unspoken frustrations. When tension rises, take a moment to reflect: What is this emotion trying to tell me? Naming the emotion and its root can help you reclaim that space between stimulus and response. Journaling is a helpful tool here, allowing you to explore these feelings privately and without judgment, making it easier to move forward with clarity.

Finally, don’t underestimate the power of movement to regulate emotions. Imagine a volcano releasing energy safely through small, steady vents. Movement is our version of that—shifting our physical state to let the emotional pressure dissipate. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a quick stretch, or even shaking out your hands and legs, movement can help you channel the intensity in a healthy, productive way.

Frankl’s wisdom reminds us that the space between what happens to us and how we respond is where our power lies. By practicing intentional breathing, self-reflection, and movement, you can keep your emotional volcano from erupting uncontrollably. You’ll not only navigate stress more gracefully, but you’ll also find growth, freedom, and a sense of balance—even in the busiest, most chaotic moments.

Anastasia Boschman is a retired teacher, principal and educational consultant.  She now spends her time writing, speaking and holding space for others as a Trauma-Informed Empowerment Coach.  As a recovering volcano, Anastasia now practices the art of resilience as she moves through her own trauma healing.