The Limit Does Not Exist!

"Mother, teacher, writer, betrayer, jokester, bitch, genuine, loudmouth, boat rocker, lover, analyst, bean counter, victim, bully, daughter, niece, grand daughter, friend, enemy, confidant, storyteller, astute, acute, keen, disruptive, creative, discerning, innovative, observant, sister, quick witted, actress, resourceful, shrewd, ambitious, manipulator, relentless, asshole..."

 All of these have been used to describe me over the years. I am sure there are many other views of who I am floating around in the universe. I am not denying that I may have presented in a manner that lead people to view me in these ways. I spent 50 years living a life of trauma-induced survival mode. I thought that I was living my best life but in hindsight I can see clearly that I was not healthy. The shitty behaviors that I thought were just parts of "me" actually were created in survival mode and polished over decades. My relationships were not authentic and made it tough for me to be the best version of myself around others.

The issue is that people do change and particularly they have the capacity to heal and evolve into different beings. For the past 7 years, and only after blowing up my life, I have ventured down a path of self reflection and the healing of trauma wounds that were essentially taking my evolution hostage. Over the past 5 years I have moved through and healed my traumas by taking a long hard look at what really happened to me growing up. Becoming aware of triggers as guideposts to heal trauma wounds and taking an objective look at what one believes can evolve a person. The work, however, is not for the faint of heart and I almost quit many times along the journey.

 In the book “One, No One and One Hundred Thousand”, the main character is struck with a sudden, haunting epiphany: "Inside the imagination of every person he comes across exists a different version of himself—a version that’s a mismatch of his own self-image." One of the obstacles in my healing has been the reaction of others who have a version of me in their minds that no longer matches my present being. It is hard for some people to believe that I can change and that limiting belief sticks into my side like a hook and pulls me back to a past life. In a sense it highjacks my evolution and makes it tough to keep relationships going. Think for a minute if I ask you the question, "how you are doing?". Your interpretation of the question is based on the version of me in your head. The outcome can be wildly different if you see me as manipulating as opposed to caring. If one were working from an idea of me created prior to 2017 I can guarantee that their view of me has become a limiting belief for them.

A limiting belief is a thought or state of mind that one thinks is the absolute truth and stops a person from doing certain things. The idea of challenging limiting beliefs is part of a transformative process in which a person seeks to change that belief in order to move forward. Here are the 5 steps to change a limiting belief:

1. Identify your limiting belief.
2. Find the influence of your limiting belief.
3. Challenge your limiting belief.
4. Find a new positive belief.
5. Take action.

Why should we strive to discover and change our limiting beliefs? It is simple, they hold us back. There is this great video about an ant that is on a table and he exists inside a circle that the scientist has drawn. The ant struggles to find a way out and believes it is trapped inside the circle. Then the scientist does the same with a spider and the spider accidentally steps outside of the circle. During the rest of the video the scientist attempts to draw a circle around a fast travelling spider who has realized that it isn't trapped by the circle at all. Simply put limiting beliefs are the circle that trap us. It is not good when other people refuse to see us as we have become but it is even harder if one is living with limiting beliefs about themselves. Steven Bartlett, a self made entrepreneur states, "the journey to conquering limiting beliefs in general is by questioning whether what you know as truth is actually a truth".

 As we explore the landscape of our beliefs, it becomes clear that they are not immutable truths but rather stories told by others or even ourselves during moments of doubt. The journey to unravel and transcend these limitations is one of self-discovery and empowerment. It is important to remember that the narratives others construct about us do not define our worth or potential. Our true essence lies beyond the confines of others' perceptions. As we challenge and reshape these limiting beliefs, we engage in an act of profound self-love and self-acceptance. It's a reclaiming of our narrative, a declaration that we are the authors of our own stories.

So, let us embark on this journey with courage, armed with the understanding that limiting beliefs are mere whispers in the wind of our possibilities. As we release the grip of these beliefs, we make space for authenticity, resilience, and the boundless potential that resides within us. May the echoes of our own affirmations drown out the whispers of limitation, and may we emerge stronger, truer, and more authentically ourselves. Until then I will hold tightly to a new version of my healed self for all others to consider.

 To be clear, this unlimited version of Anastasia is as such: healed trauma survivor, healer, holder of space, comedian, writer, educator, speaker of her truths, friend, explorer, forgiver, entrepreneur, story teller, wife, mother and empowerment catalyst.