The Enduring Scars of a Survivalist Generation

A few more steps and I would be home.  With blurred vision and blood gushing from my face,  my friend had left me to walk home from the hill moments after we rolled to the bottom.  She would limp her father's trike home after the crash and hide it somewhere he wouldn't find it.  She refused to drive me home because as she put it, "Your mom is going to kill us."  We were not to be driving crazy up and down the local sledding hill but that's exactly what we did as the youngest children of disconnected boomer parents.  We were not the only kids on that hill enjoying the rush of speed, dust and laughter.  We were, however the only kids to accidentally lock the front brakes and have the trike flip forward and roll 10 times to the bottom.  She was right to be afraid and as I pulled myself up the stairs my mother, eyes cold and arms crossed, offered no comfort, no words of solace—only a curt directive: "You didn't die now get over it." This scene, etched into the my psyche, epitomizes the emotional neglect that many from Generation X endured. Raised by parents who often dismissed or minimized our emotional needs, we now grapple with the enduring scars of unresolved childhood traumas.

The admonition to "just get over it" is not merely unhelpful; it's profoundly damaging. Such statements invalidate the survivor's experiences, suggesting that their pain is trivial or unwarranted. For Generation X, a cohort often parented by individuals who were emotionally immature or unavailable, this dismissal was commonplace. Parents who lacked emotional self-awareness or empathy were unable to provide the support their children needed, leading to a legacy of trauma and emotional neglect.

Healing from childhood trauma necessitates a compassionate and multifaceted approach. Engaging in therapies such as Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) can be instrumental. TF-CBT addresses the specific needs of individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other trauma-related difficulties, helping them process and reframe distressing thoughts and emotions.  It takes intense effort to wade through our trauma and move forward with a Trauma-Informed Coach.  Incorporating somatic exercises, like mindful walking or yoga, fosters a reconnection with one's body, promoting holistic healing. These practices emphasize internal awareness and can alleviate both physical and emotional tension associated with trauma.

For those supporting trauma survivors, empathy and understanding are paramount. Providing a safe space for survivors to share their stories without judgment fosters trust and validation. Understanding the complexities of trauma equips supporters to offer informed and sensitive assistance. Gently guiding survivors toward therapeutic resources can be a pivotal step in their healing journey.

I can say with great assurance that when we spend a childhood wiping away our own tears and digging through ancient medical kits to fix our wounds we become survivalists.  We go deep into our own independence to go unnoticed securing our existence.  We walk in the shadows and listen for monsters far more than we should.  We consume the phrase, 'Just get over it' and we use that to become the one of the fiercest generations so far.  As much as I would like to wear that like a badge of honor I know that it originates from a place of deep pain.  Whenever I see a ferocious Gen Xer I always wonder about the pain that is beneath the surface.  The journey to heal from childhood trauma is neither linear nor swift, but with compassionate support and appropriate interventions, Generation X survivors can navigate the path toward wholeness and reclaim their narratives.  

Anastasia Jorquera-Boschman is a retired teacher, principal and educational consultant.  She spends her new life writing, speaking and holding space as a Trauma-Informed Resilience Coach.  These days Anastasia still enjoys riding but from the comfort of her side by side.