Neuroplasticity Unleashed: How to Use Our Emotions to Heal.

OK where are all the people who, when triggered go right into anger mode? You are my people, unfortunately we share the inability to keep our lids closed when a trigger cuts deep into a trauma wound. By "flip our lids" I am referring to our brain's job to keep us safe and away from danger.

When our brain senses that we are in danger the amygdala sends messages to our nervous system and releases adrenaline that kicks in causing our fight, flight, or freeze responses to take over. Lately I have been thinking about where this anger habit originated because as we know babies are usually born happy and pure to this world. So somewhere along the way they learn habits and the longer those habits are fostered the harder they are to break. I don't want to speak for my people but my habit of anger came from always being told to "shut up", "calm down", "never mind" and "I'll give you something to cry about". Possibly the worst thing that I experienced was the rule that I was to be seen and not heard. Think about it, if we are never given an avenue to feel our emotions and we swallow them down to fit into the rule then we learn only to cover up emotions. Those emotions go deep down, undercover, and later come out when our lid is flipped. Usually they come our looking like anger, rage, fear and sadness. Changing that behavior to living a life in which we acknowledge, feel and even understand emotions is possible but it will take time and effort.

Let me give you an example of how long it takes to change behavior. Our dog Willow is a high strung Pitbull with very intense prey drive. She has been the winner of many a rodent roundup in our garden, for which I am grateful. It does mean, however, that there is always a risk that she will see our cats as prey. Now before anyone launches into she is a incredibly dangerous breed I will stop that narrative. Willow is a high strung breed in need of an avenue for her emotions. Prey drive in the dog world is an emotion which, if left under processed can go very badly when the dog flips it's lid. So we have learned that this emotion, when allowed to be processed can be positive for Willow. She now has a rubber chicken attached to a horse whip which she chases twice a day and in that way Willow is able to relax her muscles and brain enough to live a balanced life. After hundreds of hours of processing her prey drive there are no more explosions of fear based aggression aimed at whomever holds her leash. To break down what is taking place for Willow is simply this: she seeks a reward of chasing the prey and she receives the reward when she brings herself into a state of submission and then the chase begins. Repeating this hundreds of times rewires her brain to seek the pleasure and regulate herself.

Changing behavior is much the same for humans. Our brains have Neuroplasticity which is the brain's ability to change throughout our life. Dr. Rick Hanson, a psychologist and author of “Hardwiring Happiness”, popularized "Self-directed neuroplasticity" as a passive process in which we reinforce habits by doing them unconsciously over and over again. Our sensory nervous systems are always monitoring for actions we can take that will deliver a hit of dopamine; the brain’s reward chemical. When your brain recognizes a pattern, such as a connection between action and satisfaction, it files that information away neatly in an area of the brain called the basal ganglia. This is also where we develop emotions and memories, but it’s not where conscious decisions are made — that’s the prefrontal cortex. Just like in our ancestors, our brains chase that dopamine high. So when a behavior comes along that results in a reward, the brain builds a connection between that behavior and pleasure that can be hard to shake.

If we are hardwired to seeking feel good dopamine then I can see why it is difficult to keep going when we are attempting to change our habits. In all of my research so far I have never found any facts that would suggest that changing behavior and habits is impossible. I do know that breaking a bad habit involves a combination of awareness, commitment, and effective strategies. The following steps have been put together to help you change a habit:

Identify the Habit: The first step is to clearly identify the habit you want to break. Be specific and define the habit in detail. For example, instead of saying "I want to stop procrastinating," specify the behavior, such as "I want to stop procrastinating by checking social media during work hours."
Understand Triggers: Explore the triggers that prompt the habit. Triggers can be internal (emotions, stress, boredom) or external (specific times, places, people). Keep a journal or use a habit-tracking app to record when and where the habit occurs and what triggers it.
Set Clear Goals: Define clear and achievable goals for breaking the habit. Use the SMART criteria—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound—to create goals that are realistic and actionable. For example, "I will reduce social media usage during work hours by 50% in the next two weeks."
Replace with Positive Behavior: Identify a positive behavior to replace the bad habit. This could be a healthier alternative or a new habit that aligns with your goals. For instance, if you're trying to quit smoking, replace the habit with deep breathing exercises or chewing sugar-free gum.
Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness to increase awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindful eating can help you pause, reflect, and make conscious choices instead of acting on autopilot.
Seek Support: Enlist the support of friends, family, or a support group. Share your goals with others, seek accountability partners, and ask for encouragement and feedback. Consider working with a coach who specializes in habit change if needed.
Stay Persistent: Breaking a habit takes time and effort, so be patient and persistent. Expect setbacks and slip-ups along the way, but use them as learning opportunities to adjust your approach and reinforce your commitment to change.
Celebrate Success: Celebrate your progress and achievements, no matter how small. Acknowledge your efforts, celebrate milestones, and use positive reinforcement to stay motivated and committed to breaking the bad habit for good.

 Still skeptical that you can change that habit of swallowing down your emotions and ignoring those triggers that are trying desperately to tell you something? Well I can assure you that it is indeed possible to rewire your brain to become aware of your triggers as well as understanding what those triggers are saying. The key is to begin to see your emotions as positive guideposts to your healing journey. It is just like Willow's prey drive, when we began to see it as a path to helping her then it was easy to change negative behavior patterns. So my challenge to those who struggle to feel emotions is to welcome in that emotion and use it to it's fullest potential. What can it do for you? Perhaps it is there to push you further, drive curiosity or convince you to seek change. As always when overtaken by emotion we need to stop, allow for the process and feel them to heal them. May this become our new hit of dopamine that will ensure a successful healing journey.

Anastasia Jorquera-Boschman is a retired teacher, principal and educational consultant who now spends her time writing, speaking and holding space for others to heal as a Trauma-Informed Practitioner. She can be found on the shore of the Lesser Slave Lake hurling a rubber chicken to help her pups balance their emotions.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advise, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. The author and publisher do not assume any liability for any injury, loss, or damage incurred as a result of the use of the information presented in this article.