Keep Calm and Swim On: Resilience Techniques for the Win

"I visualize to the point that I know exactly what I want to do: dive, glide, stroke, flip, reach the wall, hit the split time to the hundredth, than swim back and forth as many times as I need to finish the race."

Michael Phelps

Today I scrubbed a cooler that was dirty. On the lid I was extra careful around the name "The Jorquerafins" scrawled in black marker. It is the name of our little family of swimmers that trekked around the province to claim medals and stories of personal bests. Our cooler is where everyone would gather and consume the energy needed to make it through to the relays at the end of the day. It was the center of many discussions about discipline, technique and mindset. There may have been a few stern "come to Jesus" talks and many jokes as well. As I was scrubbing, memories of all of the discipline and skills practice came flooding back to me.

As a parent and a coach I spent many hours poolside watching swimmers overcome setbacks to gain the swimming efficiency needed to make it out of small town pools. The thing about swimming competitively is that you may be in a pool with 6 others but you are competing to beat your own best time. The pressure of knowing that another swimmer may overtake you at any time can be overwhelming if a swimmer is not in the right mindset. It is always a struggle to keep swimmers in a confident, balanced mindset that would take them to the medals. Through the years I watched swimmers fall into survival mode when faced with the pressure of competing. Unfortunately when a swimmer pays more attention to the race they begin to frantically attempt to go faster, beginning to thrash and fight with the water instead of move through it efficiently. The swimmers that fully embrace Newton's 3rd law know that for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction. When swimming you have to push the water backward in order to move forward. The energy generated in the backward direction gives an equal and opposite reaction in the forward direction. The more you push back the more you move forward. To move fluidly a swimmer needs to push back in a precise movement to propel forward faster. The more the swimmer fights against Newton's law the slower they go. When I think of what makes a gold medal swimmer I can't help question what was more important strength or resilience.

Strength and resilience are often used interchangeably; however, they are actually two distinctly different qualities. Strength refers to the ability to withstand pressure, while resilience is the power to adapt to change. One is more about endurance and ‘toughness’, while the other is about adaptability and flexibility. These two terms are important, and through research – we know that resilience is the key trait required to develop the qualities needed to be a high performer.

Resilience is not something people are born with, it is a skill that is developed in the face of adversity. It is the proactive approach to staying balanced when the pressure of life gets to us. The sad thing about life is that resiliency is not really something that we choose, it is usually thrust upon us with the by-products being strength and wisdom. When I was raising my children after losing my husband people used to say to me, "you are so strong...how do you do this by yourself." I would smile and try to take on their comments like a bit of praise but really I was screaming inside, "I am not strong, I have no choice in this...its sink or swim..do or die..." Over time I wore my survival like a badge of honor. I believed that the events I endured made me resilient and what I know now is that I was merely a Survivor slapping at the water to keep moving. To be a Thriver I really needed to begin to implement practices into my life that would guarantee that I would thrive no matter what pressure was on me. I would have to adopt resilience techniques before bad things came my way. If you are wondering what level your resilience skills are at here's a great little self assessment to take.

When I hit rock bottom and realized that I had no where to go but up, I began to develop my resilience by practicing self-care, building a support network, and reframing negative thoughts into positive ones. The beginning of that journey was as simple as deciding to take the first step. At that point I knew that I didn't want to stay in that place any more. I didn't start out with strength, wisdom or an understanding of how to heal myself. In the world of healing could we please normalize the idea that strength is not a requirement to take that first step. Everyday I talk with clients who genuinely desire change but are somehow paralyzed by the idea that before beginning they need a great deal of strength. That is false...all we need to heal is a step forward, vulnerability and a resilience mindset. We need to remember that our energy, when used in the correct manner, will propel us forward. If we work on those things that come up for us, one at a time, we can heal our deepest trauma wounds. By building our resilience skills we can guarantee that we will swim efficiently.

Taking the first step to discover resilience techniques for healing your trauma is a powerful and transformative act of self-love. Imagine breaking free from the chains of past pain and building a stronger, more resilient version of ourselves. It's like a swimmer learning to move fluidly with the water, finding a rhythm that transforms struggle into grace. Resilience techniques can empower us to navigate life's challenges with greater ease, turning wounds into wisdom and setbacks into stepping stones. By embracing these techniques, we open the door to a brighter, more hopeful future where we can thrive despite our past.

As for me, those days of early mornings, coolers of food and transporting exhausted athletes are over. Now I spend my time observing all of the benefits of swimming that play out in my children. Each time they face adversity I observe in awe of their tenacity and resilience that usually sees them through. I watch as they move fearlessly to figure out complex issues with grace. I am grateful for the lessons learned during swim meets as it shaped them into great humans. As for me I still swim together with the water and with a close adherence to Newton's 3rd law. The more energy I put in the more progress I will make. I continue to practice resilience techniques daily so that when adversity shows up in the marshalling area I won't allow it to shake my confidence. As the great Michael Phelps says, "I will visualize to the point that I know exactly what I want to do". And when the race is complete I will have beaten my best time, smiled in the face of adversity and made my way over to the podium. As a coach I strongly encourage you to adopt resilience techniques into your life as the first step of your healing journey. In true swim mom fashion I will be standing poolside cheering on the best version of you. "GGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Anastasia Jorquera-Boschman is a retired teacher, principal and educational Consultant. In her new life Anastasia spends her time as a writer, speaker and holding space for others to heal as a Trauma-Informed Practitioner. Currently, in the face of adversity, she has resolved to "Just keep Swimming".